Seattle Pride Weekend 2024!

We’re just a week away from Pride Weekend! We hope you’ll be able to join us (and bring your friends!) to all the things we have planned. You can find more details and optionally RSVP on our Meetup or Facebook groups.

Friday, 6/28:

To kick it off, Pride Weekend starts with Karaoke at the Shanghai Room in Greenwood, at 8:30 PM. Come out and sing, or just hang out without singing if that’s more your speed.

Saturday, 6/29:

An image of the Seattle Aces & Aros tent at Pride with the overlaid text "Free Swag at PrideFest" and the location of "Broadway Between John + Thomas, Capitol Hill, 6/29/24, 11-7 PM"

We’re going to have a booth at PrideFest Capitol Hill all day. We’ll be located in a double tent on the west side of Broadway, mid-block between John and Thomas, in front of Sumo and The Alley. Stop by for some free aro and ace related swag (Some things will have price tags to discourage the street fair lookee-looters from grabbing it all, but it’s free if you’re under the ace or aro umbrellas. Just tell them you’re with the band.) and a craft table, or just duck into the tent to get out of the crowds and chill with us for a bit.

Two ginormous pride flags being flown, one trans, one rainbow, with the overlaid text "Giant Flags In The Park", and a location of "Cal Anderson Park, 6/29/24, 1:30 PM, Weather Permitting"

At 1:30 PM, we’re hoping to take the ginormous flags (As Seen On Tumblr™) over to Cal Anderson Park for a bit of a photo op with Flying Gigantic Flags In The Park! If you’ve ever wanted to fly what are likely the world’s largest aro and ace flags (and if they’re not the largest, they’re still pretty danged big), this is your chance. We’ll also have ginormous rainbow and trans flags, a non-binary flag will be making its debut, and we’ll likely have some not-ginormous-but-still-big flags for many more identities.

Sunday, 6/30:

An image of the Seattle Aces & Aros marching in the Pride Parade, with the overlaid text "Pride Parade", and a location of "4th Ave Between Union and University, Downtown Seattle, 6/30/24, 10:30 AM"

The main event: March in the Seattle Pride Parade! We’ll be staging for the parade on 4th Ave between Union and University, starting at around 10:30 AM. There will also be a pre-game breakfast starting at 9:30, gathering about a block away in a plaza in front of Purple Wine Bar. We’re one of the earliest contingents in the parade again this year, so be sure to get there by 11! You can bring your own flags or signs, or we’ll have plenty for you if you just show up.

Looking forward to seeing you all there, and if you have any questions about any of these events, please feel free to ask! And again, check out our Meetup or Facebook groups for more details about these (and other!) events!

Seattle Pride 2023

We’re participating in two events this year!

On June 24th, we will have a booth at PrideFest on Capitol Hill. We’ll be booth O-29, on the east side of the street between Thomas and John, in front of 8 To 8 Dental. It’s about a block from the Capitol Hill Light Rail station and about two blocks from Cal Anderson Park or the end of the Streetcar line. We’ll be the booth with the purple top and ginormous aro and ace flags. Drop by for some swag or to say hi!

Then on the 25th, we’re marching in the Seattle Pride Parade for the fourth time! Bring your signs, flags, and other Aro and Ace Pride gear and come join us!

It’s free and doesn’t require any commitment other than time.

The parade is on Sunday, June 25th, starting around 11 AM.  The Parade runs through downtown Seattle on the mostly flat 4th Ave, from around Westlake Center to Seattle Center. Distance is about a mile.

We are Contingent #11 on Block 2, between Union and University. This is several blocks south of Westlake Center, and only about a block away from the University St. Light Rail station. Our staging time is 10:30 to 11 AM. We are very early in the parade, so we will have to be ready to move shortly after the start of the parade at 11.

We will be staged between Gay City and the Space Needle, and alongside Pokemon. Look for the ace and aro flags and the sea of green and purple somewhere on the west side of the street.

You are more than welcome to make signs or wear aro and ace themed costumes. We’ll have flags for people to wave.

Check out the Facebook and Meetup Events for more details:

Meetup Event: https://www.meetup.com/seattle-and-surrounding-area-asexuals-seattle-aces/events/293070142/

Facebook Event: https://fb.me/e/6q24TEzbb

(RSVPing is encouraged, but not required. You can just show up on the day of the event and we’d love to have you!)

Seattle Pride 2019!

The Seattle Aces & Aros will again be marching in the Seattle Pride Parade!  We had such a blast last year that we’re doing it again!  Come march with us!  (It’s free and there’s no time commitment outside of the parade itself.)

The parade is on Sunday, June 30th, 2019, and runs through downtown along the mostly flat 4th Ave, from just south of Westlake Center up to Seattle Center.

We’re contingent #123, and our staging area is between Marion and Columbia on 4th Ave in Downtown Seattle. Our staging time is between 11:30 AM and 12:30 PM. Here’s a map of the block with who is around us:

There will be a spectator group for those who want to watch the parade, but won’t be marching. Look for the flags somewhere between Pike and Bell along 4th.

Also, for the first time, we’re going to have a booth at the Capitol Hill PrideFest on June 29th. Stop by, say hi, grab some swag! We’re in the Purple zone, on Broadway between Mercer and Roy, booth P21.

Check out Facebook or Meetup for the latest updates or if you’d like to be involved.

Marching in Seattle Pride 2018!

The Seattle Aces will be marching in the 2018 Seattle Pride Parade!  This will be the first time there has been a dedicated ace/aro group marching in Seattle.  Come march with us!  (It’s free and there’s no time commitment outside of the parade itself.)

The parade is on Sunday, June 24th, 2018, and runs through downtown along the mostly flat 4th Ave, from just south of Westlake Center up to Seattle Center.

We are contingent #148, and our staging area is located about halfway between Cherry and James along 4th Ave, below City Hall.  We are located between the Cascadia Now and Kimpton Hotels groups and are next to the Fred Meyer Group.  Our staging time starts at 1:00 PM.

Here is the map of our staging location:

RSVP on Facebook or Meetup, or stay tuned here for more details.

Facebook Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/579306545763860/

Meetup Event: https://www.meetup.com/Seattle-and-Surrounding-Area-Asexuals-Seattle-Aces/events/247077790/

Discussion Group Notes 9/9/17

These are notes from the Seattle and Surrounding Aces Discussion Group meeting of September 9th, 2017.  These are notes about what we talked about, relevant links, and other information about discussion topics. This is not meant to be a transcript and is not necessarily even meant to be a coherent recounting of the discussion.

Privacy of group members and keeping that room a safe and open place is important to me. I will try my best to not post personal information or individual stories without permission. If I write something that you’d rather not have on here, please let me know immediately and I will remove it.

Couch!

There was a couch in the meeting space today.  This is perhaps the most exciting furniture related thing to happen to us since the introduction of the Cookie Chair.

Newcomers!

Over half the room seemed like they joined us for the first time today!  Welcome, we hope you enjoyed the discussion, and hope to see you again in the coming months!  (Although, if you’re visiting from California, we’d understand if you don’t come back in October…)

We’re Famous!  Sort Of.  Well Okay, Not Really…

Apparently the book “All the Wrong Places” in the Bluewater Bay series has the characters attend an asexual meetup group in Seattle!  Except…  It’s not us.  They meet in a hipster coffee shop in the U District, while we meet in a hipster coffee shop in Capitol Hill.  Totally different.  They also apparently mention an ace group in Port Angeles.  I think we need to plan a roadtrip to investigate.

There’s another book, Cracked: A Magic iPhone Story, that involves an ace in Seattle, but this one does not feature a meetup group.

Other ace-related books mentioned today:

The Interface Series (which I can’t find a clear link to), although apparently only one book in this series has been published, and that book doesn’t mention asexuality explicitly.

Mr. March Names The Stars, which involves some dating ace pagans.

And then, in the non-fiction category:

Asexual Perspectives: 47 Ace Stories, which is a collection of interviews with ace people.

Ace Inclusion Guide For High Schools, which is a guide for high school staff on how to be more inclusive of asexual people.  This one is also available as a free PDF download.

“A Sexual What…?”

There was a big hubbub about the latest season of BoJack Horseman.  In it, a main character comes out as asexual.  Reaction from ace-land has been largely positive as the portrayal is seen as positive and accurate.  This is probably in large part due to the assistance of members of Ace LA, who worked with show staff to make sure it was handled correctly.

Unconference and Parade

In June, I attended the Berkeley Unconference and the San Francisco Pride Parade, organized by members of Asexuality SF.  They were both valuable experiences and things we should look at doing here at some point.

The Unconference was an all-day event.  About 50 aces, graces, and demis attended.  For an unconference, attendees bring topics they want to talk about, and the day’s schedule is organized on the spot.  People then break off into groups to have 45 minutes to an hour of discussion on the topic, and people are free to switch between them, if they like.  Some of the topics included “Asexuality and Dating”, “Aces in the Media”, “Religion”, “Pathologization of Asexuality”, “Ace POC”, and “Planning for the Future While Aro”.  Many of the sessions are “open”, meaning that anyone is free to join in, but some of the sessions are “closed”, which means they’re limited to those covered by the topic, in order to create a safe space to the conversation.  It’s a great way to connect with other aces in a more in-depth way than we get to in our normal monthly meetups.

The Pride Parade was amazing.  We all got together and marched down Market Street, some of us waving flags, some of us in ace costumes, some of us holding signs.  We handed out stickers and flyers.  The power of marching is in the visibility.  We were there, we showed that we exist.  I saw people in the crowd, screaming with excitement as we passed.  We proved to them that they were real.  Afterwards, I found people mentioning us on Twitter and Tumblr.  And I’ve heard that seeing the aces march in past parades has led some people to discover that they were asexual, has led some therapists to realize that asexuality was a real thing that they needed to learn about.

We should do both of these things here.  The Pride Parade is in June.  There’s apparently a steep registration fee, which is what has turned us off from doing it in the past.  I don’t care about that.  Whatever it is, I’ll cover it.  We are marching in 2018.  I’ll pay the bills, but I’ll need as many of you as possible to show up and march.

An unconference would also be something we can organize here.  We’d just need to book some space (a few separate rooms, if possible), and encourage people to show up with things they want to talk about.

Both of these would also be a great opportunity to reach out to other aces in the greater Northwest.  We’re centrally located between Portland and Vancouver, both of which have established ace meetup groups.  There are bound to be other aces here and there who won’t want to make the effort to get to Seattle for just the ordinary meetups, but who will for the larger events.  Let’s invite them all to town and ace this place up!

My notes from the Unconference are here:  http://www.asexualityarchive.com/category/san-francisco-unconference/

And some thoughts on the parade are here:  http://www.asexualityarchive.com/thoughts-on-a-parade/

Asexual Dating

I’ve covered ace dating conversations in previous posts, and a lot of what was covered today was similar to what was mentioned in the past.  So I’ll skip the repeats and head straight to the new stuff.

There was a recommendation that you not only mark yourself as Asexual in OKCupid, but that you also cover the subject several times in your profile.  Talk about what it means to you, lay out where some of your boundaries lie.  It’s still no guarantee that people will read and understand, but it’s a start.

There is a new ace dating app called “AceApp“.  It’s new, so there might not be many people there, but there won’t be anyone there at all if there aren’t any intrepid pioneers who decide to take the first step.

Therapists and Doctors

Someone brought up whether or not it’s appropriate to come out to a doctor or a therapist, particularly if they start bringing up sex or relationships in connection to the care they are providing.  In some cases, it may be useful to explain your lack of sexual activity or lack of relationships, as it may allow them to rule out certain things (for instance, you’re not likely to be pregnant if you’ve never had sex, so maybe they can skip that pregnancy test if you’re concerned about a missed period).

However, not all health care providers understand or even accept asexuality.  It may be difficult to know ahead of time how they’ll react.  But know this:  You can demand that they believe you and respect you, and if they don’t, you may want to consider finding a doctor who will, if that’s possible.  Resources for Ace Survivors has an info sheet you can print out and bring into your visit.

The lack of awareness of asexuality in the medical profession was a topic that came up at the unconference.  We discussed possible ways to start to fix that, such as reaching out to local doctors and clinics and offering to provide information, offering to present an Asexuality 101 seminar to a local group of providers, or giving a talk at a convention.  However, I am unaware of anyone who is actively taking on a project to work on building bridges with the healthcare world.

After the conference, I found two counselors in the Seattle area who mention working with ace patients on their websites.  One sounded like they might have a decent understanding of asexuality, while the other sounded like they were more interested in prescribing you a pill that is likely to cause spontaneous loss of consciousness.  At some point, I plan to reach out to both of them, in order to find out how they work with ace patients, and whether or not they would like any assistance or resources from any of us.

Assorted Mentions

Ash Hardell video series on “Everything Asexual and Aromantic“.

The Huffington Post series on asexuality.  And the exploration of all the negative comments on those articles (and how to respond when you encounter them in the wild).

The Unassailable Asexual:  The Carnival of Aces and SwankIvy’s videos.

Pacific Northwest Pride Events 2016

It’s Pride Season!

I often hear that Pride can be a lonely place for aces, so let’s get out there and be seen!

Rainbow Depot sells Asexuality Flags of several different sizes.  I’ve been extremely happy with the quality of the flags I’ve bought from there.  So, pick up a flag or two and wave around our black-gray-white-purple at whatever events you go to and make yourselves seen!

WhatIsAsexuality.com has a number of printable cards and pamphlets that would make good event handouts.  They even have a little open space that’s just the right size for a sticker or stamp with your group’s contact information!

And if you go to a Pride event, take pictures!  Post those pictures!  Send them here and I’ll put them up on the site.  Post them to the Seattle Aces or Northwest Aces Facebook groups.  The best way to be visible is to be visible!  Show everyone that we exist!

The Events

Obviously, in Seattle, the big event is the Seattle Pride Parade and PrideFest at Seattle Center.  This year, it will be held on Sunday, June 26th.  More events throughout the month of June and other information can be found at Seattle Pride.

Portland is also throwing a party.  The Portland Pride Parade is on Sunday, June 19th, and the Pride Festival on the Waterfront is both Saturday the 18th and Sunday the 19th.  More information and events can be found at Pride Northwest.

Vancouver waits until the end of July to keep the fun going through the summer.  Their parade and festival are on July 31st.  You still have time to get your passport or enhanced driver’s licence to get across the border!

But Seattle, Portland, and Vancouver aren’t the only place that’s having Pride events this year.  Here’s some others that I found around the Pacific Northwest.  (And be sure to visit the sites for more events, as there are often other parties or shows or events on various other dates.  I’m only listing the main events from each city here.)

Around Washington

Spokane: Pride Parade and Festival are Saturday, June 11th.  Details

Olympia:  Pride Parade and Festival are Sunday, June 19th.  Details

Seattle: Pride Parade and Festival are Sunday, June 26th.  Details

Tacoma:  Pride Festival is Saturday, July 9th.  Details

Bellingham:  Pride Parade and Festival are Sunday, July 10th.  Details

Bremerton/Kitsap:  Pride Festival is Saturday, June 16th.  Details

Tri-Cities:  Cancelled?

Around Oregon

Astoria: Pride Parade is Saturday, June 11th.  Details

Portland: Pride Parade and Festival are Sunday, June 19th.  Details  PDX Aces will be attending this event, but not marching.  Check out their Meetup group for information.

Bend/Central Oregon: Pride Festival is Saturday, June 25th.  Details

Salem: Pride Festival is Saturday, August 6th.  Details

Eugene/Springfield: Pride Festival is Saturday, August 13th.  Details

Around BC

Nanaimo: Pride Parade and Festival are Sunday, June 12th.  Details

Victoria: Pride Parade and Festival are Sunday, July 10th.  Details

Vancouver: Pride Parade and Festival are Sunday, July 31st.  Details

Further Afield

Boise, ID:  Pride Festival will be Saturday, June 18th.  Details

Anchorage, AK:  Pride Parade and Festival are Saturday, June 25th.  Details

Eureka, CA:  The Humboldt Pride Festival will be held on Saturday, September 10th.  Details

Asexual Representation At Pride!

I know of a handful of events where aces will get involved and march in the parade (or have in the past).

I’ve put together a list of ace groups who will be involved in their local Pride events in some way:  http://redbeardace.tumblr.com/post/144840083925/aces-on-parade-2016

Please let me know if I missed any events!

Discussion Group Notes 1/9/16

These are notes from the Seattle and Surrounding Aces Discussion Group meeting of January 9th, 2016. These are notes about what we talked about, relevant links, and other information about discussion topics. This is not meant to be a transcript and is not necessarily even meant to be a coherent recounting of the discussion.

Privacy of group members and keeping that room a safe and open place is important to me. I will try my best to not post personal information or individual stories without permission. If I write something that you’d rather not have on here, please let me know immediately and I will remove it.

Meetup Changes

Since we’re growing and the room in the basement can get cramped and hot, and since there are accessibility issues with the basement room, we might be moving to the auditorium upstairs!  Changing rooms may require changing meeting days, though.  If any changes are made, they’ll be announced.

Seattle Aces Website

SeattleAces.org : You’re looking at it!

This website is meant to be a public face to our group.  A way to say “We are here!” to the world.  Meetups will still be organized in the group on meetup.com, and this site will point people there.  The site is under construction, so if you have any suggestions, let me know!

There is also a new Facebook group for Seattle Aces. Stop by and say hello!

Going forward, I’d also like to try and build a Northwest Aces group, so we can reach out and start collaborating with other ace groups in the region.  There’s a Facebook group for that, too.  (I’ve also registered “NorthwestAces.org“, but right now it just redirects to the Seattle site.)

Pride Parade

Let’s make it happen this year!

If you’re interested in marching, check out the Meetup discussion for the parade.

If you’re interested in helping to plan, check out the Meetup discussion for the parade.

If you have fundraising ideas, check out the Meetup discussion for the parade.

Basically, check out the Meetup discussion for the parade.

Things that were mentioned today that we’d need:

  • $500+ entrance fee.
  • T-Shirts!
  • Lots of people to march.
  • People to plan and make it happen.

We also talked about the possibility of trying to collaborate with other groups in the area, and set up a sort of marcher exchange program.  For example, we could send a few people to Portland, and Portland could send people here, and we all march in each other’s parades.  Anyone know anyone in the PDX group?

KUOW Trans Bathroom Thing

Here’s the segment, if you’re interested.

And the Gender Justice League.

Advocacy Groups or Support Services?

After the meeting, I got to thinking.  We spent a fair bit of time talking about advocacy groups related to trans issues, but does anyone know of any advocacy groups or support services in the area that are or should be are aware of ace issues?  Maybe we should start reaching out to some local groups and start to provide resources to them.

CDC Study

The CDC recently released the analysis of a survey about sexual attraction and orientation.  This survey is notable for completely failing to mention asexuality in any way.

The orientation question was multiple choice and only allowed Straight, Gay, Bi, or Decline To Respond as answers.  The attraction question assumed attraction to males, females, or both, and had an “unsure” option, but no “no attraction” option.

Previous versions of the survey did include an “other” option for these questions, but it was removed in 2008.

You can read the report here:  http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr088.pdf

And here’s some commentary, including an open letter from the leader of the New York City Ace Group:  http://wildasexuals.tumblr.com/post/136821002195/nhsr-88-and-asexuality

Relationships

There’s going to be a Relationships meetup!  Check it out if you’re interested!

Several people talked about the difficulty of being ace in a relationship, but not having discovered asexuality yet.  They mentioned trying desperately to “fix” things that weren’t actually broken.  “Have more sex!”  “Have different sex!”  “Have wild sex!”

The media always talks about how sex stops after getting married or after having a kid, so many asexual people who haven’t discovered asexuality yet might feel that their lack of interest is just a normal relationship progression and not have a problem with it.  However, their non-ace partner might have a problem with it, and feel that a lack of sexual attention means a lack of love.

Awareness that one member in a relationship is asexual might help, but it’s not a guarantee.  All relationships take dedication and effort and require compromise, and there are countless issues that may arise that have absolutely nothing to do with sex or sexuality.

AVEN has a “For Sexual Partners, Friends, and Allies” board that may be helpful to people in a mixed relationship.

Discovering the Term

We talked about how we discovered asexuality.

For some people, a friend mentioned it to them.  For others, they struggled for years, feeling lost and broken.  Some came to the term on their own.  Others found it through Tumblr or other social media.

Creating Meetups

If there’s a specific topic you want to talk about, create a meetup!

If you want to try to get a group together closer to where you live, create a meetup!

All you have to do is go to the group on Meetup.com, click “Schedule a new meetup”, and fill in the details.

Other Bits

Wolf eels!

Dan Savage and his “why would you even contemplate inflicting yourself on a normally sexual person” line.  (Note that’s from 2011.  He’s been less of an ace-hating asshole lately.)